Is it worth it?

“Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without...there are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.” -Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

Oh Grey’s Anatomy. How I love thee, let me count the ways. I love you Dr. McDreamy. I love crazy Meredith's rantings. I love George's innocence and...well, I'll stop here. Loving the show is not the point of this post.

Intimacy is a definitely a two-headed dragon. It is so amazing to be soclose to someone but yet so deathly frightening at the same time. Wanting to tell someone everything about you; wanting to know everything about them…that’s a powerful desire. It comes with a price, though. Vulnerability. Once someone knows everything about you, they know your weaknesses. They know how to hurt you the deepest. They know what cards you hold. And they definitely know what cards to play. On the flip side, however, they know what you value the most, what makes you the happiest, your dreams and aspirations. They know how to comfort you in a way no one else can. They know. Everything. And knowledge is a very powerful entity.

I think that’s why people shouldn’t rush into intimacy. You don’t want every person you meet to have so much power over you. I know I don’t want that.

Intimacy is also one of those things that we crave as humans. We want connection. That’s why different faiths exist. Everybody wants to believe in something greater than themselves. It’s also why, from a very young age, we seek friendship and ultimately seek attention from the other sex (usually ;)). We need to feel connected; we need a force that is bigger than ourselves, because hey, we realize we can’t do it alone. It’s a scary world out there…why go at it alone?

It’s strange what it does to us…this intimacy. Once you have it with someone…it eats you up. You can’t live without it, but it just wears on you so and you begin to wonder if it’s all worth it…is it worth the emptiness you feel when they are away? Is it worth the way the other person can see right through you, can make you SEETH with anger. Is it?

I think so. It’s dangerous. It’s uncomfortable. It’s wonderful. It’s scary. It’s the most amazing thing you ever experience. It’s worth it.