i am pissed off. i have tried not to be for the last 24 hours, but i am. yes, i am also hormonal which may account for some of the all around pissiness, but TNB did the first thing to make me realize he can really make me hot. and the thing is, he totally didn't mean to, but he did. and i won't let him know, although i am sure my voice told him i was disappointed.

so here's the story...there was an event this weekend that my mother sponsored for the women's board at the hospital. it's a big gala blah blah blah etc etc...so i have been helping her a lot and of course was going to work the event and have fun with all my friends who i kind of got involved. it had crossed my mind to invite TNB a few weeks ago (if he was still in fact TNB and not an MID or TOB--'the old boy'), but i wanted to make sure there was room for him and that my mom didn't mind. so she suggests it and i invite him last monday. of course he can come! sounds like fun!

great. i am happy. he will meet my family. my friends. and i tell them all that he will be there! and you can meet him! he is great! so he is busy all week and i understand that and we hang out friday night...yaaay! and we talk and kind of discuss the next day. awesome.

then...THEN i get this message from him saturday morning that is like i am trying to get all my work done so i can come tonight...working my butt off, hope i can...WHAT? WHAT? you told me you could come!!! last night! did they just spring this assignment on you? well, i give him the benefit of the doubt and we talk. he found out about it friday, thought it would easy work, he has to fly sunday 8a and get all this work done. well we didn't have to sit on your couch all night long last night. keeping what you said you would do is much more important. so he is like i am going to keep working and maybe i can come for dinner. no. he let me down big time. and i know he felt really badly. which, in a sick way, made me feel better. but not much. i was in a bad mood all night (until i started dancing of course :)), and i had to explain to all the people who were excited to meet him THAT HE LET ME DOWN and wasn't coming. i felt like crap. i hope he did too. -1 for TNB. he is still really high in the positive numbers though, but now i will def be slightly more cautious with 'solid plans' with him. i know he is here for his job and his future kind of depends on his performance. i understand that. but just be real with me. i don't need to be petted. UGH!!!